I'm a medical anomaly

Hello, my name is Stephanie and I'm a medical anomaly. Seriously, I'm standing up and raising my hand, there should be a self help group for this. Is there a 12 step program I can sign up for? We need a group! Are we cash cows for doctors and dentists or are we their worst nightmares. Patients where anything abnormal or "unique" or "rare" is the standard normal.

I generally tend to avoid doctors and dentists these days. I approach them with much apprehension and trepidation. Even a routine exam can and has gone horribly wrong for me. If I am actually hurt or injured I start to panic because I'll have to face the dreaded "oh!" and the scrunchy faced look of the doctor (it looks like this :-/). I usually will self-diagnose via the Internet and then blissfully ignore my problems until they go away or the problem becomes so routine I've adjusted my mental and physical well being around the problem.

Occasionally, a doctor will even ask me if I mind while their colleagues take a look, because they haven't ever seen a case like this since they read about it in the textbooks in medical school. That's the point when I start to hunker down on the table, my eyes start to fill with tears and dread comes over me. I'm abnormally normal. I'm a train wreck on the inside, a wonder that I can even function on a regular basis, am I super human?

No, probably not. If I am then I need to request a better super power. I probably should donate myself to science at the end of this life, but I'd hate the thought of them making that :-/ face while I'm laying there on the table, dead.

I could go on and on with the list of weird things that are wrong with me. It may be easier for you just to google a weird problem and ask me if I know about it. Certainly, this is my curse for watching Ripley's Believe It or Not as a kid, no? What about my obsession in high school with reading medical horror fiction...yep, that's what caused it I'm sure.

I've had migraines that went on for years as a kid and in the process of diagnosing that, in my 20s, they determined I have a bone spur in my skull that is pushing on my brain. 15 years ago I was told to come back for additional cat scans every 7-10 years. Um, no thanks. Cat Scans with radioactive dye hurt like a mutha'. The bone spur can't be felt and besides...even if we did find out that it was growing they'd likely want to do something about that...no THANKS! No WAY!

Then of course, there's all my complications during and after pregnancy that cannot ever be explained. They are uniquely mine and although abnormal for every other pregnant mom they are normal for me. I just grinned and smiled when I switched doctors for the 4th pregnancy and he'd get that worried look in his eyes. No worries doc, this is all completely normal for me. :-) Well, until I got the third world uterine infection 2 weeks AFTER delivery. Although, I completely blame the nasty hospital for this one and it wasn't my body's fault at all.

Let's see...what else? Arthritis at 27 years old? Yes, sure ( a double helping, both knees please). Fibromyalgia after the 4th child...I'll take a side of that. Lift something heavy, normal people would pull a muscle. Not me, costochondritis for me please...an inflammation of the lining of the cartilage in the breast bone. feels JUST like a heart attack...trust me! Constant testing over the last 10 years for Lupus...really it's just a matter of time. I exhibit all of the symptoms but the blood test comes back negative. My body is destroying itself from within. I do have some sort of autoimmune problem but my Rheumatologist makes that scrunchy face and just can't pinpoint it :-/

So, today I was completely unprepared when I went in for my routine dental exam and cleaning. The dentist comes in after the x-rays and says I want to talk to you about something going on with your tooth over here. Lower, right, pre-molar #29. Tap, poke, do you feel that? No? and then he says it...the dreaded sound "hmmmm....". Do I open my eyes and check to see if he has the scrunchy face?

Well, he says, you have internal resorption. The tooth is destroying itself from within, it's very rare. At this point I seriously start laughing because I have definitely heard the word rare alot in regards to medical things and me. Laughing is all I can do. I ask through my laughter what causes it and he says....well, we really don't know what causes it. Have you ever had any trauma to your teeth? I keep laughing, of course...I was a kid once. I stop laughing long enough to say, don't take this personally doctor, but if there's one person that this can happen to and you've never seen it before in your career you can place firms bets on the fact that it WILL happen to me.

So, anyhow. I need a third root canal. I have other issues too, but my head hurts from thinking about the dental procedures that need to be done for health reasons and the ones I want done for cosmetic reasons.

Come on old girl...pull yourself together. I'm pretty sure that I'm actually made like some sort of MacGyver invented human body. Inside I'm held together with super glue, staples, duct tape and bubble gum.

Abnormally normal people of the world-UNITE!