Oh no she didn't....

Sophia plays in a non-competitive, skills based basketball division with 7/8 year olds. She does play one level up with second graders because she has played since preschool and this was league approved.

We've had a few personal conflicts with Sophia's basketball coach this season. They weren't affecting Sophia so we tried to let it go. First there was an issue with a conflict in practice schedule which I tried to politely work through and was met with a rude response on how I should rearrange my schedule better. The issue was resolved when practice had to be changed anyhow due to lighting issues and gym time.

Then there was the issue of the coach stating she wouldn't tolerate crying on the team. yet she blatantly ignored an issue where some of the boys on the team weren't very team like to Sophia and insulted her by asking her why she was afraid of the ball and played like a girl. The coaches response was boys will be boys.

At that point I delegated Rami to all practices and games because it was obvious the coach had an issue with me.

The last 3 games Rami noted that Sophia has played a mere 16 minutes of a 45 minute game and she was barely playing league minimums and at one point was sitting out 2 consecutive quarters which is a violation of league rules. At which point Rami noted it to the coach in a non-offensive way AFTER the game in a one on one situation.

After another parent noticed this seemingly unfair rotation practice and mentioned it to me before last weeks game. Rami was even more observant during the last game and decided to email the coach afterwards (mainly because we don't want Sophia to observe any conflicts...she should just be having fun).

Here's his email.

Annie,
I was hoping I didn’t have to bring this up but after some other families on the team mentioned that Sophia was not playing that much I felt it was time. I hope you understand that I want all the players to have a good time playing but after the one game that Sophia sat out 2 consecutive “quarters” I’m just hoping you think about a rotation that shares the minutes in the best way possible. As best I can tell the 8 and 9 players only play 2 “quarters” (I know that’s what the league states)but if Sophia is always the 8 and 9 player than I feel that’s not fair. Some of the other children should also share that spot so that no player has an unequal amount of minutes. If that is the plan going forward than I look forward to Sophia playing 3 full “quarters” for the next 7 games.

I don’t want to be one of “those parents” but I just want Sophia to keep trying hard and be a part of the team. We played against one team that split the 5th “quarter” and a rotation that includes that could give all the players at least 2.5 “quarters”, I put together something that maps out a 2 game rotation:

(There was a beautiful grid inserted here just outlining how a more fair rotation could be played out.)

I appreciate the emphasis on getting all the children at least one shot per game and I think that was a great idea. I just now hope that that the children can get a fair amount of playing time for the rest of the season.

Thanks for taking the time reading this message.

Sincerely,
Rami Ubaydi

This is her response this morning. I almost lost my mind when I read this response. She obviously is missing the point and the purpose of the leagues noncompetitive nature. She also has awoken the grouchy momma bear in me that wants to rip her limb from limb. i have been known to yell at a former soccer coach due to her poor coaching ability too.

Hi Mr. Ubaydi,

We are sorry that you feel that Sophia is being treated unfairly. As coaches we have continually tried our best to accommodate all of your family's concerns (Our practice time conflicting with Girl Scouts, Sophia being sensitive about the comments that some of the boys made to her about her closing her eyes when the ball is coming at her, and Sophia not sitting out for more than one quarter at a time).

The league has given us 5 quarters to play (or 25 spots to fill) and we have eight children on our team which, unfortunately, leaves us with a couple of children not getting as much play time as the others. We do not like the idea of switching out the entire team during the 5th quarter because when the other team did it, it was very disruptive to the all of the players on the court not to mention that it drastically cut into our play time. We appreciate your suggestions, you have some great ideas! Perhaps you can use your line up next season when you volunteer to coach Sophia's 3rd grade team? We write a new line-up for every game and since that line-up is completely within the following guidelines of the MYBL, we will continue to do so.

The MYBL rules (Which we handed out during the first parent/team meeting) state...
1. Every player shall play a minimum of 2 total quarters of the 5.
2. It is RECOMMENDED players not sit for more than 1 quarter. (It is not mandatory)
3. Parents shall be held to a code of behavior that includes only positive cheering for all players and no instruction from the sidelines. It is the Coach's responsibility to "Coach" during the game.

We look forward to having Sophia and the rest of the team continue to have fun and work on improving their basketball skills to get them ready for the next season. If you continue to feel that our coaching practices are not to your satisfaction, you are highly encouraged to contact the UC Commissioner Mark Saunders at 951 XXX-XXXX.

Sincerely, Desiree Guerrero and Annie King

Now...IF she has 25 spots to fill and only 8 players doesn't that mean every kid gets 3 spots? WHY is Sophia still only playing 2 spots. Also, she's slightly incorrect on the "rules" as she states them.

Rami being ever the diplomat responded again this morning trying to take the high road that perhaps I wouldn't have taken in my hot headed state of mind.

Thanks for the response, instead of doing the point-counter point thing, I hope that you don’t penalize Sophia for the actions of her parents. I can understand that 9 players make it hard but I’m sure you will figure out a way that Sophia isn’t the only child playing the “league minimum” every game. My understanding is this division is non-competitive and designed to teach skills and my hope is that every player gets to play than the more than the “minimum”. I have and will continue to cheer the team on as I have done for this entire season.

Thanks for listening, this will be the last time that I bring it up.
Rami