Conversation with God on the Treadmill

Have I ever mentioned how much a I hate interval running? Hate is a strong word and I don't use it often because I don't hate many things. But, the days I do interval running I really start to question my own sanity. Is fitness really worth this pain?

So, today I had a 45 minute conversation with God.

Dear God, why does I always feel like I have to go pee as soon as I step on the treadmill...I JUST went.
Stephanie, you don't have to pee...just run.

Dear God, is 7.0 mph too fast, I think I'm going to puke.
Stephanie, you are not going to puke.

Dear God, I have a wedgie.
Stephanie, don't pick it. There's someone behind you on the stair stepper.

Dear God, is my heart rate monitor right?
Stephanie, YES!

Dear God, thank you...2 segments down, 4 to go.
Stephanie, you're welcome.

Now...I'm in mile 2 and can't talk as easily.

God, make fergie stop singing about being fergilicious and carving it out. I don't want to hustle.
Stephanie, ok, here's some boom boom pow instead. :-)

God, why did I eat that bluebery muffin this morning?
Stephanie, because it was good and Sophia made it for you and blueberries are good for flattening your tummy.

God, why did I drink a glass of wine last night?
Stephanie, because you could.

God, when am I going to get to the third mile? Is it quitting if I stop there?
Stephanie, the faster you run, the faster you're done. Yes, it's quitting.

God, why does running for 2 minutes and 30 seconds at 7.0mph seem slower than jogging for 4 minutes at 5.5 mph?
Stephanie, shut up and run.

3rd mile down...one left to go. Thank you God.
You're welcome, but you did the work, I only gave you the strength.

Dear God, can you carry me next time? I'm so happy I finished those sprints.
Stephanie, no...you can do it. I'll carry you when you need me to. Now, go kick some abs too.

OK.

That's a true story...really!