Homework is the source of great stress lately. It's been nearly 3 weeks of school and we've waded past the whining about having to do the homework. But, we still have logistical problems to iron out.
I think I have done a good job of managing homework time in the past. Sure, we have an active after school schedule but my kids have never missed a homework assignment and have never had to stay up late to do homework (we're still in bed by 7:30pm on a school night).
Our problem is not getting motivated to do homework. I have cubbies and caddies lined up in the kitchen. Everyone has supplies handy and organized school materials at the ready.
Our problem is not the fact that we don't have a routine. We DO have a routine and a very stringent one at that. We get home from school at 3pm. The kids sit down for 15 minutes eating snack, while I go through each backpack and review papers and assignments. As soon as snack is over we clean off the table and start doing the homework. We usually have 1 hour.
Our problem is finding a space for everyone to do their homework that works for that child. I used to have everyone sit at the kitchen table. That system became a problem this year. Isabella wanted some quiet and independence. Which I agreed to since she's in 4th grade and homework responsibility is a key area this year. She can do her homework unassisted and she does. Sophia almost never has any issues with homework, other than sometimes she asks for more. She just sits down and does it and puts it away. Ava is in 1st grade and still needs help with the reading portions of the homework. She's not a fluid reader yet and more one on one time is needed.
So, this year we tried a new system of where to sit for homework. Isabella wanted to start doing her homework alone in her room. I thought that was a good idea so I agreed. Sophia asked if she could also do her homework upstairs in a "study" area the girls put together. Sure...the more ownership in the homework process the better right? Ava said she'd like to try that too. Ok? Sure, go ahead and try it.
Well...that didn't work. The day we tried that it took 2 hours to finish homework and it was very stressful for me. I told them no playing. Instead of playing they all started helping each other. Fine except for one thing. Helping means doing in their worlds. So, Sophia did Ava's homework and Isabella did Sophia's homework and nobody did Isabella's homework. As soon as I realized what was happening I called them all down one by one and made them re-do their homework in separate work areas. Then I told them that doing other people's work was considered cheating and would be reported to the Principal next time. Of course, Isabella says...well, Sophia's work is easier than mine. This girl never appreciates a challenge. She just wants the easy stuff. I asked her if she'd like to go back to 2nd grade and she said yes. *sigh*
The next day I separated everyone during homework time and it still took just as long and there was even more crying. Mom, help me I can't do this problem. Well, if you know me than you know I'm not about to be running from room to room or upstairs, downstairs to help with homework. So, I instructed them to skip the one they are having problems with and bring it to me at the end and I'd go over it when I checked their work. This caused more crying and more delay and more distraction.
Then when I checked the work Isabella yelled at me that her answers were indeed correct and that I was wrong and that I didn't understand how to do the work because I did it differently than how she was taught in class. Well, she's got a point. I am not a teacher. I am a mother. So, if you're answer is right then march your butt to school with your right answers and see how those go over with your teacher. But, do not cry when I ground you next week for bad grades on homework that I tried to tell you was wrong but you argued with me.
The other problem I encounter is with teachers who make a blanket statement to their class about how the students should be working with their parents on the homework. Um, hellooooo.....that only works for families that have 2 parents home at night and who have 2 or less children at similar grade levels or who have no other life and ARE teachers themselves. I don't fall in to any of these categories and no matter how hard I strive to be a mom who is on top of these things my kids look at me like I'm the worst parent ever because I cannot physically sit down to have each one of them read to me at their reading level for 15-20 minutes each and every day nor can I sit next to them while we merrily chat about the day's events and do homework "together". I expect them to read on their own and do their homework assignments with little intervention (them being able to do their work without my help is how I gauge whether or not I'm comfortable with how the teacher is teaching the material in class. In my opinion if the child is learning it in class it does not need to be taught by me at home...it's just review right?). Then they report back to the teacher the next day "my mom WON'T read with me". Geez...don't I get the worst parent of the year award.
So, any of you who came from large families where your siblings were close in age or any of you with large families please give me some suggestions. Because I think I am doing everything by the books but somehow things are still stressful here. Not to mention I've got a 3 year old who wants my attention the minute homework time starts and is mad I won't let him watch TV during homework time (because of the distraction to the girls).
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